She got married....she got married....she got married. Everything begins to blur, I knew I shouldn't have looked, why did I have to look, it's none of my business, but she got married. The pictures slicing across my mind one by one, they seem so happy, I should be happy for them but I'm not every thought and every emotion isn't telling the same. They're reminding me of a lingering nightmare that hasn't faded from another horror show from my life. They're telling me to look away from what is in front of me, they will help me. I stand up, I can't think, I can't think. I grabbed it...I shouldn't have but i never should have looked to begin with and this old nightmare will make my mind go to other places. I slam the bottom down and hear the familiar "shing" sound I'm so used to hearing at work. Without another thought I swipe and I swipe and I swipe. A feeling of distance and apathy washes over me as the air begins to smell of copper and the warmth trickles down my arm. My fore arm is on fire but anything is better than the screaming in my head. I've begin to realize what I've done. I've become a junkie once again. I've become junkie to something I've hated more than anything else in the world. I've cut myself for release. I'm too old for this shit, but in the heat of the moment I couldn't stop. And now.... it's time to start over again, this can't continue, I enjoyed it far too much for it to be good... you sick fuck you liked it. For the love of my God and all I've done this has to be the one and only time the smell of copper stops me from breaking.